by Tommy Gimler
Who in the fuck do the Atlanta Braves think they are? Sure, Milwaukee’s Carlos Gomez is a human pile of pig shit who is long, and I mean Lexington Steele long, overdue for a proper ass beating, but this whole “Holier Than Thou” routine that they’ve put on over the last two weeks is chapping our asses something fierce.
Only two old men on the current Braves roster, Freddy Garcia and Gerald Laird, have ever been part of a team that won a World Series, and that team sure as shit wasn’t the Atlanta Braves, so this “We’ve been there before and this is how you do things” mentality can take a fucking hike. When you rattle off three world championships in a row like the Yankees, then feel free to block a turd like Gomez from touching home plate as he tries to finish his big dick player home run trot. But until then, if you don’t like it, then either hit a home run yourself in your next at-bat or do what every other team has been doing for years and make sure Gomez takes a 97-MPH ball of yarn and leather between the numbers his next time up.
And by the way, here is some video of Atlanta Braves players flipping bats and admiring their home runs. Note how at the :37, :42, :57, 1:20, and 1:27 marks, it’s OK if they do it. Oh, and I guess dancing on home plate like a bunch of Kansas City faggots at the 2:17 mark isn’t a disgrace to the game, either:
And here is Evan Gattis dropping his bat and acting like a Jersey Shore douchebag as he hits a home run against the Marlins two weeks ago. You probably didn’t see notice it initially because you were more focused on the Marlins fan getting hit in his stones.
Marlins pitcher/stud Jose Fernandez didn’t take to kindly to it. But instead of plunking the next Braves hitter, he put all of his energy and emotion into hammering a Mike Minor offering into the left field seats for his first Major League home run. Pretty much an eye for an eye. Well, unless you’re Brian McCann and the Atlanta Braves:
Our intern is on it, but we have yet to find any footage of Brian McCann greeting the Upton brothers and Gattis ten feet in front of the dugout after their home runs and chewing them out for being assholes…